Building Your Relationship with God

How Do I Cope When Life Seems So Uncertain Right Now?

Where are you in life currently? Do you look at where you are now and wonder about an uncertain future? Maybe it’s a relationship with a loved one or pain that you are suffering? I know what this feels like. You feel weary and downtrodden. Your upbeat, positive mindset and personality seem so distant. You miss the joy you once had. My friend, God loves you and values you! You are worthy in God’s eyes. You might be thinking, how do I trust God when I am suffering or in pain?

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Your Soul Needs Healing

Maybe your soul needs healing right now. There isn’t a “quick fix” to healing. It is a process that God takes you through over time. God will give you His comfort, peace, strength, and guidance. My heart goes out to you right now. Ask God to take your hand and pull you out of the pit of despair you are in my friend. 

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (NIV).

I know what you are going through and feeling right now. You might be wondering, how do I find hope again? My friend, it happens one day at a time. Stay present in each day and look for God’s daily guidance, wisdom, peace, strength, comfort, and direction.

God’s Healing Power Working In You

I can testify to God’s healing power working in me and through me. I learned how to trust God and find hope in Him. I look at who I am now in Christ, and I am in awe of God and how He brought healing and restoration to my soul. I see that His will is better than any of my plans. I never imagined that I would be the goal-oriented, strong, resilient, adventurous, independent woman that I am today. I don’t wear strength as a badge of honor either. My strength comes from God and it is not anything I do in my own strength. My character has been refined by God over years of trials and triumphs. At times, I get hurt because of those qualities mentioned above as well. I will take calculated risks, because I am confident of who I am in Christ.  With that being said though, I have felt the sting of rejection, being used, and being mistreated.  I have learned some hard truths about myself over the years. I have learned how to handle and cope with the decisions of others that have had a negative impact on my life. We are all shaped by what we have experienced in life. My negative experiences have helped me learn the importance of boundaries and have given me the wisdom to lean on God to protect my peace when it is threatened. I hope that some of the lessons that I have learned speak to you and help you learn how to avoid some of the pitfalls and keep your trust and hope in God.

Storms of Life That Threaten Your Hope and Trust in God

When your trust and hope in God is threatened by the storms you are in right now, remember God is right there with you in the storms of life. Keep your focus on God and let Him fight your battles. Surrendering to God will take you farther than worrying, striving, and fighting in your own strength ever will. Your life experiences and circumstances shape you and shape the way you think and act. You can’t take it personally when someone wrongs you, but you can learn from the pain and gain God’s wisdom and discernment.

Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD. Proverbs 16:20 (NIV)

Hurting People Hurt Others

Some people are just mad, angry, and bitter and lash out at the world and people around them. Others are selfish and don’t think about how their choices impact others or simply don’t care as long as their needs are being met. Pray for their healing, so that you are set free from the bondage of unforgiveness, anger, disappointment, resentment, and bitterness.

Our flesh doesn’t want to be kind or forgiving towards people that have hurt us, but it is in standing firm on the strength of the Holy Spirit in us that we learn how forgiveness, kindness, compassion, humility, perseverance and a humble spirit free us from the negative feelings that we could choose to feel instead. Think of how hard it is to be nice, kind, and loving towards someone that has wronged you. Would you agree that leaning on your own understanding makes it almost impossible? You want to say so many things that you know are unkind and hurtful. You feel like this person deserves it for hurting you. Pray and ask God to guard your tongue and remove the temptation to give into your anger. Ask God to bring you under control by the power of the Holy Spirit that lives in your heart as a believer. 

Bitterness, guilt, shame and unforgiveness weigh us down, not the other person that hurt or offended you. Don’t waste your time trying to get revenge on others and filling your heart with negative emotions that weigh you down and corrupt your character. Let God deal with them. As much as you may not want to think about it, God loves that person too. He will decide what is right and just.

My Personal Testimony to God’s Healing Power

 I never imagined that I would be a divorced woman. I loved being a Wife and Mom. Who was I outside of that? With God’s divine intervention, I have learned so much about who I am in Christ.  Adding to the pain of divorce, my ex-husband and father to our two daughters passed away not too long after our divorce was final. I felt like a widow. My ex-husband and I got along for the sake of our daughters. We co-parented well despite our marriage ending. The man that I loved for twenty years of my life was gone. My daughter’s would no longer have their father here with them. He wouldn’t see our youngest daughter graduate high school.  He wouldn’t be here to see them get married or have children. It was so hard as a Mom. You don’t like to see your kids in that kind of pain, so you try to be strong for them while you are torn on the inside as well. It was only God’s strength in me that kept me moving forward and kept me from not sinking into depression with all the pain I was holding inside. God sent His helpers to walk beside us during this difficult time. I am grateful for the love of family, friends, and the community. The spiritual battle was not over for me though. 

I watched a man lose his life in a car accident about three weeks after my ex-husband passed away. Emotionally, I was already wounded,  watching a man lose his life added to that pain. A few of us jumped out of our vehicles and ran towards the accident to see if we could help sustain his life until emergency personnel arrived. We couldn’t. He was gone. I prayed over him and hoped that the gentleman knew Jesus as his Lord and Savior. I was able to comfort and calm one of the people that was in the accident as well. Funny thing happened that night. My brother and his wife took me out for dinner. They are in the emergency medical profession, so they knew I was at a breaking point mentally and emotionally. They helped me talk about and cope with what I witnessed that day. They prepared me for what I would be wrestling with in my heart and mind. The man that I calmed down at the scene of the accident was eating at the same restaurant with his son. His son came up and thanked me for calming his dad down. He was glad that someone was there for him. I was thinking to myself, that was Jesus that showed up for him through me. I told the man’s son that, “God puts people in the right place at the right time.” I was glad that he was comforted and at peace by talking to me that day. Inside, my heart was anguished, but helping someone else that day helped me too.

I was at a breaking point though mentally and emotionally.  I prayed that night and told God that I could not bear any more pain right now. I asked Him to please remove the storm and make the devil flee in Jesus’ name. God’s peace was with me as He felt so close to me in this moment.   I couldn’t open my Bible, and focus on reading and studying right now. I leaned on the word of God that was already in my heart, listened to Christian music and listened to devotional videos as well as running to cope with my pain and keep my sanity. My relationship with God is what sustained me through these storms.

After my ex-husband’s death, my daughters and I had to deal with cowardly thieves breaking into the house that my ex-husband and I used to own. The home they grew up in. They completely ransacked the house. The mess we had to clean up was overwhelming. I’m so thankful for my family. They helped us move stuff out and clean up the mess they left behind. You can imagine how dark my world was as I went through all of this, but I never took my eyes off God. At this point, I cried out to God, literally, to tell him I can’t take anymore mentally and emotionally. Please take this pain from me. Help me put on the spiritual armor, to stand firm and fight this battle (Ephesians 6: 10-17 NIV). My idea of fighting at this time though was me going into fight mode. I thought that I had to strive and prove myself. The idea of surrender seemed foreign to me. Some of my past pain in life had conditioned my mind to think that I had to fight, strive, and prove my worth. Crying came with the weight of shame and feeling weak because of my feelings being dismissed and being told I was having a pity party. No! I was hurting and trying to express my pain and how this person was the cause of that pain. I was looking for this person’s compassion, empathy, and validation; however, I was always met with apathy, shame, and made to feel guilty for expressing my feelings. Overtime, the pain conditioned my mind to attach crying as a weakness and burden to others, so crying was not a healthy release of negative emotions for me. If you have experienced this type of pain, you know how worthless it makes you feel. You have so much worth and value in God, please do not ever believe and accept any lies that tell you otherwise. Tell the devil he is a liar and with all of the power and authority of God in You, tell him who God says you are!

This person that caused my mental and emotional wounds would eventually apologize and admit to being wrong. I was thankful for this person’s apology, but by this time though, I had found closure in God. God had shown me just how loved and valuable I was to Him. God validated me and extended compassion, mercy, love, peace, comfort, strength, and healing.  My healing process included doing daily devotionals(studying God’s word), reading several books, praying, attending Christian concerts and going to church from time to time to stay close to God. Serving others also helps you put your faith in God in action. When you focus on being a blessing to others, your pain doesn’t consume you. I finally knew that I was valued, worthy, loved, and highly favored by God. I learned that I didn’t need validation that I was seeking from this person. Who you are in God’s eyes is where you will learn your lasting worth and value.

Healing is a lifelong process. My healing has happened over years of building my relationship with God.  I have messed up along the healing journey and allowed myself to get distracted, but God’s forgiveness, conviction, love, mercy and grace have carried me through it all. Jesus has shown me how to seek forgiveness, repent, and turn my heart back towards Him.  I knew that God would heal and bind my wounds. I remember being in church one Sunday and crying as I sang a worship song that was about just how much God loves us. In this moment I realized that God healed my wounded heart. Now, I was crying over the fact that I could cry without the weight of guilt and shame. It was ok to cry! Years of pain were washed away with the tears I cried that day in church. It was God healing and binding my wounds! I no longer feel like a burden to others. I don’t feel stupid or weak for crying.

God Will Heal and Bind Your Wounds

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 (NIV)

My friend, God will do the same for you too! He wants you to come to Him and lean on His understanding. He wants you to put your faith in Him and stand firm on His promises. He wants you to put on the spiritual armor and stand firm as He fights your battles. God goes before you when you are facing spiritual warfare. As one of the Adult Ministry Bible teachers in my church says, “You’re not fighting for victory. You are fighting from victory.” Jesus won that battle when He went to cross and paid the debt for our sin. He conquered hell and reconciled us with God through His resurrection. As believers, we have the gift of the Holy Spirit living inside of us to guide us, protect us, intercede on our behalf, convict us, lead us towards repentance, and keep us going in the right direction with God in front of us.

God wants to let you know just how much He loves and values you. What hurts are you holding on to that are weighing you down? Give them to God and start your healing today! Do you believe in Jesus and profess your faith in Him? If not, my friend, pray and ask Jesus to come into your heart, profess your faith in Him and ask Jesus to forgive you of your sin. Thank Him for the gift of salvation and the Holy Spirit. As a new believer, the Holy Spirit comes to live in your heart. The Holy Spirit will guide and direct your paths as you read and heed the word of God, study the Bible and Jesus’ ministry and life here on earth, you can talk to God in prayer, and He will show you how you can serve others by putting your faith in Jesus into action by the Holy Spirit that lives in you. 

Maybe your dream of marriage and family didn’t happen like you thought it would. The struggles and challenges of everyday life outweighed the goodness and happiness that brought the two of you together in the first place. Life just didn’t go according to how you planned it. Divorce was not something that you ever saw coming, but maybe for reasons beyond your control, divorce happened in your marriage.  You will get through this with God’s help and guidance. Life will be good again. You will come out learning and discovering things about yourself that God will reveal to you. You will be so glad that you chose to surrender to God’s will and give up all of your plans. He will heal your shattered heart. He will give you direction and purpose. Stand firm and stay true to God in the midst of spiritual battles. God’s love is the love that heals and binds your wounds. 

Please reach out to me by email  if you need support, guidance, encouragement, or someone to pray with you. 

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